With a side of ranch.....

Kissing 101

2005-07-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

What's the difference between a boy and a man? It's really very simple. It has nothing to do with age, facial hair (or any other hair, for that matter), hard-ons, having had sex (dogs have sex, doesn't make them men!).....it's all in their kiss.

Boys kiss and swiftly move on to the good stuff. Men know that kissing IS the good stuff. When a man knows how to kiss a woman what follows isn't good....it's fantastic!

Molly is asked out and accepts the invitation. She's not really "into" the guy, but Sam seems nice and she didn't have any other plans for the evening anyway. Their evening goes well, no awkward pauses, he doesn't talk with his mouth full, he's interested in what she's saying, he's a gentleman only touching her when it's appropriate and when he does touch her it's gentle and respectful. As they say good night Sam very softly kisses Molly's cheek. That ends their evening....or....maybe not. The soft kiss to her cheek has lit a flame in the depths of Molly's desire. She wants more than just a kiss on the cheek. She looks into Sam's eyes and moves in for a real kiss. He grabs her and smashes her lips into her teeth....now, that would definitely end the evening. Instead of being a boy, Sam shows Molly that he is all man. Instead of grabbing and smashing, he takes his time meeting her lips with his own.

Tenderly he caresses her lips with his own. He keeps his lips supple, molding them to the softness of her lips. He pulls away, looks into her eyes, seeing her desire for more, he parts his lips and lightly moistens them with the tip of his tongue. This time when he captures her lips he applies just a tad more pressure. He feels her lips part against his. Parting his lips he grazes her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Molly sensuously grabs his tongue with her lips. She begins sucking on his tongue.....it's clear where this night will end.

Kissing is mouth sex....the real oral sex. The way I'm kissed tells me if I want to even consider going further. It's not just men that struggle with kissing skills. I've had a woman kiss me and it made me wanna puke. She will go down in history as the "fish kisser." Her pucker was the same as a goldfish's. There were no long slow kisses with her....just numerous hard pecks. EW!! Seriously, EWWWW!

I've kissed men and women....before realizing that I'm gay I was under the false impression that I was bi. Women always had men beat in the kissing department. I had to teach men how to kiss and the value of being an incredible kisser. My ex's kiss was like having my face eaten....his mouth was spread open as wide as he could get it, his teeth would dig into my cheek! I shoved him away from me and began his first lesson in how to kiss without drawing blood. He had a lot to learn and I was bored enough to take the time to teach him.

If men would learn to kiss a woman in the same ways they liked having their dicks sucked.....there would be millions of very happy & horny women in the world! Men love the soft licks and sucks. A little teeth is ok with some and not with others....no one that I've been with wanted to be bit or have teeth raked roughly along the shaft of their dicks. It's all about the tongue manipulations and the sucking. That's pretty close to how women want to be kissed. At least, it's how I want to be kissed!

Fresh breath and brushed teeth are the foundation of a fabulous kiss. They aren't all that's needed to make me melt. Don't attack my face...ease your way to my lips. Breathe warmly in my ear, don't ruin it by saying anything or blowing....just exhale. Then with agonizing slowness make your way across my cheek, softly kissing as you go (dry kisses, don't make me long for a towel to wipe my face off with). Start kissing my lips as you reach the corner of my mouth, be conscious of my breathing, if I'm breathing through my mouth give me time to adjust to breathing through my nose. Let me make the next move....when I'm ready I'll move fully into your mouth.

Woman to Woman

2005-06-12T23:16:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the Blogging community,
La Femme!
There can NEVER be enough Femmes in the world.

Hot blog!!

2005-06-11T14:55:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who just started a new blog.....it's a scorcher! She's one wild & crazy gal and she's willing to share her kinky-ness with the world. Mistress S can be found at:

nakedbox.blogspot.com

Don't blame me if she's too hot for you to handle! You're on your own!

I'm getting geared up to start posting more on here....I've been posting on my other blog and now I'm starting to feel the need to explore "my gayside" more. This blog is for just that purpose.

I'm not in a happy healthy relationship....I don't know what you'd call what I'm in. We broke up, but we're still living together and she's still sniping at me and riding my ass (and not in the GOOD way!) like she did when we were still "together." I usually avoid complicated relationships....once it's complicated I'm out...but, this one is definitely complicated and I'm still here....what's up with that?

I'm gonna mull some things over and I'll be posting later....I just want to know if it's possible for a femme to be with a butchy and not have the issues that I've had with my ex!?!

The Talk

2005-05-02T07:49:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make......

I've been seeing another blog. To be totally honest, I've been in a committed relationship with another blog for some time now. I was already with the other blog before we got together. I'm sorry that I haven't been up front with you. I'd really like you to meet my other blog....I think you and the other blog could be friends.

I'm not breaking up with you....I just won't be able to give as much to our relationship as I would like. You deserve more.

I hope we can still be friends.

I can, but will I?

2005-04-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

I can leave comments on Rosie's blog....not like I will, but I like knowing that I can. The pressure of coming up with something witty and heartfelt is just too much...it ain't gonna happen. BUT I CAN IF I WANNA!!!

Praise & Worship

2005-04-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

There are moments when Butchy and I get in the mood to listen to praise & worship music. They don’t come often, but when they do….ohhhh boy! We get those Spirit juices flowin’ and I get in touch with the large black woman living inside me. She’s one of those gals that wears a big hat to church on Sunday and just HAS to let the world know how much she feels the Spirit. Ohhhhh Jesus!! Glory!! Amen!! Can I hear a hallelujah??

I’ve come to the conclusion that praise & worship music is based on hypnosis…either that or Tourette’s Syndrome. All I know is that you must repeat the same phrase over and over and over and over. Then you sing another line and repeat that line until you feel the Spirit tell you to move on to another line. I guess there are some in the audience that may be a little slower than others and so you have to repeat yourself so that everyone “gets it.” Right now I’m hearing, “All things are possible” I’ve lost count how many times it was sung. So, we’ll just go with the knowledge that “All things are possible” and leave it at that.

The Spirit moves in strange and mysterious ways. When He speaks I’m sure He always repeats what He says until we ALL “get it.” Glory to Jesus!! Amen!! All things are possible!

WTF??

2005-04-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

I have been off living life and dealing with the wonderful world of allergies. Since my last post I haven't even checked in. Imagine my surprise to see the huge boost in visits and the wonderful comments?!? WOW!! I see that oodles of visitors have come via BlogXchange....I can't even remember what that is! But, WELCOME!!

I promise to be a better blogger and respond to everyone who comments. I deserve to be in blogging-time-out.

Somedays being interesting is more than I can handle....allergies suck the interest-factor right out of me. I'm done bitching and moaning.

Chocolate milk...it's the good life

2005-04-05T13:54:00.000-07:00

Life is good. I have a chocolate milk mustache and I'm a happy girl. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Chocolate milk, Costco's chocolate covered almonds, Diet Dr. Pepper, microwave light butter popcorn....it's all good. Add to that a good book that I'm only 1/4 of my way into.....I'm ecstatic! It doesn't take much at all to please me.....my girlfriend gave me a little spiral notebook...she knows the way to my heart is through pens, paper, and the stuff listed above. I have more paper and pens than W*M!! I could easily stock my own paper supply store, but that would mean being willing to sell my treasures, and that just ain't gonna happen!

I should frame blank pieces of paper. Nothing is more exciting to me than the possibilities that a blank piece of paper present to me. I could use it to make a card, write a love letter, write a nasty "you suck" letter, begin The Great American Novel, write a song, write a list (I LOVE lists, too!) it has infinite possibilities! Paper's only limits are the limits I place on it.

I'm in a happy place right now. For the first time in over a year I'm finally feeling human. My sinus infection is basically cleared up, I'm pretty much over the nasty flu-bug, my voice is almost 100%, life is good! I've been euphoric....didn't realize how sick I was until now as I look back....I feel like I lost a year. 2005 is gonna be fabulous!!

Sad kind of day

2005-04-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

Rosie wrote a post that brought tears to my eyes. Its' title is waffle house.

I haven't been checking her blog daily. Funny, once she shut off her comments I distanced myself from her blog. It's sad that she couldn't just delete the negative comments and keep the positive ones. Maybe she wanted to protect herself from reading anything negative.....it just saddens me that she didn't take to heart all of the positive and encouraging posts. It also saddened me when I'd read the comments attacking her simply because she is a gay celebrity. Why are there those ass hats that feel it is necessary to destroy anything, everything and everyone in their path? It amazed me the way some losers went off on how she posted, her spelling, her format, etc......get a life losers! It's HER blog!! It's just sad.

Rosie causes me to feel sad. There is so much sadness in her eyes. It's sad that her blog url is onceadored....it sounds like she now considers herself un-adored. I just want to give her a hug. Not that it will cause her sadness to go away....I just want to soak up some of her sadness so she doesn't feel like she's bearing it alone.

Whenever I cross paths with a person who wears sadness like a shawl, I don't want to fix them, I want to share their sadness. It's important to me that they know they are not alone in their sadness. When they are in the depths of sadness I want to climb down into the depths with them so maybe the darkness isn't so dark and scary anymore. Just to hold their hand. Speech isn't necessary. My presence is my present to them. You are not alone.

I'm having a sad kind of day. I first felt sad when I found out the Pope had died. No, I'm not Catholic. I posted about it on my other blog. I, also, found out that an elderly lady that meant a lot to a friend of mine died yesterday. That made me sad for him.

Yep, it's a sad kind of day.

Giddy isn't Pretty

2005-03-21T21:29:00.000-08:00

Ok...I think I've calmed down enough to post coherently. During my daily surfing I found a treasure. Rosie O'Donnell has a blog!!!....be still my erratic heart!

Ever since her show went off the air I feel like I've lost a friend. I miss the stories about her kids. I miss her stories about life in general. I'm almost giddy about not only discovering her blog....but, she has a website, too! OMG!! I'm going into femme-overload. Where's the valium?

Big deep breath in..........

New Surf Site

2005-03-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today's Smiley

2005-03-20T02:22:00.000-08:00

Winter Hero, a True Story

2005-03-19T05:07:00.000-08:00

I wrote a short story! Click on the Title to read it.

Catholic Priests = Hypocrisy

2005-03-17T23:01:00.000-08:00

Catholic church refuses funeral for gay man

For the complete story visit my Reading Nook

Love the Zig-Man

2005-03-17T22:56:00.000-08:00

Pornography or art?

2005-03-17T00:07:00.000-08:00

When it comes to drawing I am useless. I can easily explain what I want drawn.....but, the actual act of drawing...it ain't happening. Maybe because of this, or inspite of this, I love art. Great art causes me to feel awe and amazement. Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....as is, great art. My parents would not view the artwork below and see great art....they'd be too offended by the subject matter. Sucks to be them. They are missing out!

Life throws a curveball

2005-03-12T01:48:00.000-08:00

This blog was going to be all about my romance with Butchy. The first post was about our beginning. It was my intention that future posts would be about our struggles, victories and sex life. My plan was to give an honest portrayal of our relationship as we lived together through the years. One small problem with this plan: we broke up a little over a week ago. So, now I need to revamp my ideas for this blog. Guess I'll wait and see where the road leads me.

The Lesbian Club

2005-02-27T04:39:00.000-08:00

Arriving late to The Lesbian Club, aka: TLC, I hurriedly tried to find my seat. Rushing to catch up, I'm unsure that I'm doing things the proper way. Guess you could say, I'm just winging it. TLC has welcomed me with open arms. Years ago I was a guest of various members, I just never thought to join. Now that I have joined, I have an underlying fear that my handbook and membership card will be revoked. What if I'm don't succeed at being a lesbian? What if I fail? Am I worthy of being called a lesbian? Mel RoEll, TLC's High Lesbo Priestess, has not requested that I return my handbook or membership card.....guess that's a good sign. I've been a full-fledged member for almost 4 years. I still wonder if I'm succeeding. But, I guess, we all have doubts about ourselves now and then.

Most gals I've spoken to have led me to believe that winging it is the only way this works. All those who came out before me have made my club membership possible. Because of those that laid the foundation, with their blood, sweat, tears and for some their lives; I don't have to live in the small, dark, lonely closet that was so popular just a few years ago. There are those, like my parents, that are praying me back into the closet. The closet doesn't fit anymore....in fact, I never really was a member of The Closet People.

Growing up I always thought that I was bi. I figured: God made 2 sexes....why do I have to pick just one? So I went my merry way having playdates with my friends. Our version of playing house was quite different from the norm. The wife/mom role was always mine. It didn't matter to me if I was playing with a little boy or a little girl, I just had fun with either.

My first crush was on a little girl named, Christy. She had that butchy-quality that I still like. She made one heckuva husband/dad! She was a year older than me and I thought she was really cool. I was all of 8 or 9 years old. Those were the days!

Almost 4 years ago, much to my Fundamentalist Parents' disappointment, I fell in love. Up to that time I thought that I had been in love before.....I was sooooo wrong! This is when I came to realize that I am not bi. Well, I am...but, only sexually. It's my opinion that we are all sexually bi. Anyone can have sex with either sex and enjoy it. Heck, if a woman can have sex with a cucumber and a man can get off with a potato (yes, I've heard of such a thing. It involved a whole in the middle of the poor spud.) it's pretty evident to me that we can have sex with anything &/or any gender. When it comes to which gender we are capable of falling in love with.....that's where the sexual identity comes into play. It should be called Love Identity....cuz it's all about love, baby!

Before falling in love with Butchy, I was with a Monster Man for 4 years. That's a loooong story that I just don't feel like telling right now. We'll save that for another session, ok Doc? Back to my story.....
Butchy rescued me. As I fought falling in love with her I came to realize that I was fighting falling in love, period. It had nothing to do with the "gay thing." I never even gave that a thought. I'd never been in love before. My heart had never been available to anyone. I had walls around my heart that were constructed from titanium.....there was no way anyone was going to get close enough to infiltrate my fortress. Along came Butchy. She slid under my radar, *BAM* I was invaded! There was no going back....my walls were melting. Damn her!

For the first few months of our getting reacquainted (that's another story, for another post) I was NOT on my best behavior! I was the opposite of anyone else starting out in a new relationship. I felt it was my duty to warn Butchy about me. My ex, Monster Man, had me convinced that I was a useless piece of trash. Looking back (with 20/20 vision), it is beyond me why I believed anything he said about me. This is a man (I use this term loosely. He was only a man chronologically, that's it!) that I knew wouldn't tell you the truth if you asked him what time it was. Any answer he gave, you could bet your life that the opposite would be the truth. Throughout our relationship I was constantly "clearing up" the misinformation (bureaucratic word for LIES!!!) he was giving out to his co-workers and our friends. He would call me a useless fat cow and I would believe him. (not my most intelligent moment!) All I can say in my defense, is that his sickness became my sickness. I allowed it. I own it. The door was always open.....I could have walked out anytime.

4 years and 10 days later, I finally had enough. Before Butchy, I thought I wouldn't leave him alive. If I had stayed I probably wouldn't have made it out alive. Therefore, I am convinced that Butchy rescued me. And, also, that I allowed myself to be rescued.

Upon falling in love with Butchy, I realized that my loving a woman made me gay. Fascinating. All it took for me to "become gay" was to fall in love with Butchy. That was pretty simple. And almost painless, almost. I didn't have years of struggling with my identity. It never bothered me that I was bi. When I was 19 I had told my Fundamentalist-Woman-of-God Mom that I was an "emotional lesbian." It was always pretty clear to me that emotionally I was not open to men. Hating men for past abuses probably figured into that. Ya think? I knew that I could be sexual with a man, but not emotional. They were just tools. Thazit. I had it all figured out at a pretty young age. No great coming out for me. It was more like someone asking me about the weather. For my parents it was a tornado warning. I bet I'm on every prayer list from here to Venus!

Life with Butchy has been quite the learning experience. There were numerous misconceptions about lesbian relationships that I have had to overcome. And, yes, I do mean overcome. I had to let go of the misconceptions so that we could get real.

In my head, (a place that's nice to visit, but you surely wouldn't want to live there!) I was under the false impression that living with a woman would be soooo much easier than living with a man. Glory be!! I was WAY off base! See, I have some wonderful female-type friends.(not to be confused with girlfriends. It's all so confusing in this club!) I, for some unknown reason, thought that living with them wouldn't be that big of a deal. Why I didn't think of the trips I had taken with my best friend is a mystery to me. By the end of those trips we wouldn't be talking to each other. In fact, we wouldn't talk for almost a month after those trips! Now, in my defense (am I sounding defensive, Doctor?), she didn't bring her "happy pills" with her on either trip. She's bipolar, or some such illness.....we REALLY NEEDED those pills! Anyway, you would think that, seeing as I am a highly intelligent woman (really, I am.), I would take into account how my female friends can really get on my nerves after a few days of hanging out with them. Being with a butchy woman is quite the roller-coaster ride. She's got strong masculine characteristics and tender feminine characteristics all rolled into one Picasso painting.

This post is way too long. I'm tired of typing and I'm sure you're tired of reading my babble. Let's call it a night and continue this another time. Ok?

With a side of ranch???

2005-02-26T04:50:00.000-08:00

You're probably wondering about the name of my blog. I love ranch dressing with pretty much everything. I'm forever ordering a side of ranch when we eat out. It makes great food taste even better. Nothing beats a baked potato with butter and ranch dressing. The only items that don't improve with ranch are sweet stuff. That's not a good mix. For everything else, though...it all tastes better with ranch. I wish we could order our relationships with a side of ranch. When the relationship starts going bland, just add ranch! Sounds good to me!